


You Can’t Handel The Truth

by DJsaxby16



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fix It Fic, Kalex, Kalex Endgame, Lots of Angst, drinking away your feelings, romantic kalex, this is not going to be very happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-18 08:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14209350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJsaxby16/pseuds/DJsaxby16
Summary: When Alex tells Kara that Maggie got them tickets for Barenaked Ladies, she reacts a little differently this time.Fix it fic for 2x11





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Alex just ditching Kara on her Earth Birthday was something that royaly pissed me off when it happened, and I was more upset that Kara never gave her a piece of her mind, so I decided to let her do just that. And naturally, being one of my stories, it’s also Kalex based. Also, the White Martian plotline is ignored here.

Kara had grown to dislike Maggie Sawyer very much. Not that she had anything against the detective personally, but taking Alex away was not a trait that she could admire. It had been weeks since she and Alex had a night to themselves. Every movie night, every lunch at Noonan’s, all of it cancelled so Alex could be with Maggie. So you can imagine Kara’s relief when her Earth Birthday had finally arrived. They both promised each other that no matter what, this would always be their night. The day that Kara arrived on their doorstep, was a day that she treasured, and Kara was ready to finally have an evening alone with her sister. And after trying to let Mon-El down easily, Alex finally arrived by her side at the alien bar. 

“Well that looked serious.” Alex said as she saw the Daxamite walk away. 

“He told me he liked me the other day.” Kara replied sheepishly. Alex widened her eyes. 

“I am so shocked.” She said sarcastically. 

“Was it that obvious?” Kara asked nervously. 

“Duh” Alex replied sympathetically. Kara let out a frustrated breath. 

“Well I don’t like him and I had to tell him, and I just shoved both feet into my mouth.” Alex started rubbing her shoulder. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” Kara put her hand on her face. 

“It was though, it really really was.” Kara let out another frustrated breath. “But on to more important things.” Kara spun to face Alex “Earth Birthday!” The excitement clear on her face. 

“Yes” Alex tried hiding the impending dread on her face with a smile. Though Kara was oblivious. 

“Thirteen years since I crashed here on Earth.” Alex was about to say something, but Kara interrupted her “So I Know that we always just do cupcakes, but I was thinking we should go all out for lucky number thirteen, and I always wanted to try country line dancing. So I made us this reservation at a club that if we get there before seven, they teach us all these tutorials and the dances. Oh! I should call them and make sure that we can rent cowboy boots.” Kara finished her rambling and reached for her phone, but was stopped by Alex. 

“Uh well, about Earth Birthday...” Kara stopped what she was doing and looked towards Alex. “I know that we celebrate every year. But the thing is that.... Maggie surprised me with concert tickets to The Barenaked Ladies.... tonight.” Kara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

“Alex.... it’s Earth Birthday.” 

“I know, but she knows that I’ve loved them since college, and it would be our first concert together, and so I was thinking..... that maybe we could celebrate another night?” Alex asked, hopeful that Kara would understand. The rising anger on her sister’s face dashed that hope very quickly. 

“Is this a joke? This... this has to be a joke.” The hurt was very eminent in her voice. 

“Kara I’m sorry, she just sprung them on me when we were having lunch, what was I supposed to say?” Alex asked trying to defuse the situation. 

 _“Sorry Maggie, but I’ve already got plans with Kara tonight.”_ Kara replied mockingly “Seems pretty simple to me.” Alex had opened Pandora’s box and she knew it. 

“Kara please, I promise we can celebrate another night.” Even Alex thought that sounded weak. Kara just pulled a ten out of her pocket and slammed it on the counter. 

“You are unbelievable.” Kara didn’t even look at Alex as she stomped over to the exit. And who else could come through the door but Maggie, grinning like an idiot. 

“Hey Kara!” She said excitedly. 

“Piss off.” Kara replied as she moved past the detective. 

—————————————————————

After giving her workout station a serious workover, Kara still felt just as angry as when she left the bar. Thinking it was pointless, she decided to just go back to her apartment. As she walked into the DEO command center and walked towards the balcony, she saw Alex making her towards her. Kara definitely did not want to talk to her right now, but something told her she didn’t have much of a choice. 

“Kara, can we talk?” Alex asked. Kara just huffed. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your concert?” Kara asked very bitterly, brushing past Alex. 

“Look Kara, you’re upset, ok I get it.” Kara spun back around to face her. 

“Do you?!” She asked maybe too loudly “I mean do you really get it?” 

“What do you want me to say Kara?” Alex asked, frustrated. 

“That you’re willing to sever the umbilical cord between you and Maggie for one night, but something tells me that’s too much to hope for.” Alex knew she was in a lose-lose situation “It doesn’t matter, I already canceled the reservation. Just...” her voice broke “just go to the concert.” Before Alex could respond, Kara walked out onto the balcony and launched herself into the sky. 

—————————————————————

Of all the ways Kara hoped to be spending her Earth Birthday, this was not one of them. Sitting alone in her apartment with a bottle of alien alcohol and watching whatever came on TCM. After taking another swig, a knock at her caught her attention. She looked behind her and X-rayed her door to see Alex holding a cupcake with a lit candle. She didn’t move an inch, hoping that Alex would take the hint. She wasn’t so lucky as she heard Alex use her key to let herself in. She didn’t even look as Alex stood next to her. 

“I brought a peace offering.” Alex said, hoping to gain some sort of reaction. But was met with Kara taking another drink. Alex sighed and set the cupcake down on the counter. “Kara I’m sorry, ok?. I’m sorry.” Kara still didn’t look at her. “You were right. I should’ve told Maggie that I couldn’t go to the concert.” Still nothing Alex was growing frustrated “Kara please just say something!” Alex begged her sister. Kara finally turned towards her. 

“Are you finished yet?” Alex felt defeated before she could even put up a fight. Kara took one last swig before realizing she had drank the bottle empty. She got up to grab the second bottle she had picked up on the way home. “Why aren’t you at the concert?” Kara asked Alex, opting to stop looking at her. 

“I’m trying to make things right Kara.” Alex tried to explain. “And Maggie agreed that this was more important.” Kara internally gagged. 

“Cause Rao forbid you make your own decisions.” Kara, uncorked the bottle and stood in front of Alex “Does she tell you when to brush your teeth too?” Kara took a swig while Alex’s frustration had finally peeked. 

“Jesus Kara, why are you acting like this?” 

“You ditched me on my Earth Birthday to go to some stupid concert! What did you think was gonna happen? That I would just roll over and be ok with it?” Kara then momentarily lost her balance. Leaning on the side of the counter, Alex tried to help her stand up, but Kara refused her efforts. “This is the one day of the year that is the most important to me, the one day you promised to always spend with me. Now because you’re dating someone, that gives you the right to just bail on that?” There was less anger this time, but more hurt than anything else, and something else, something Alex couldn’t put her finger on. 

“Kara...” 

“And don’t even try pulling the ‘We’ll celebrate another night’ line again. We both know you’d rather be with Maggie than me anyway.” That one definitely stung. 

“Kara, just because I’m with Maggie doesn’t mean that I’m not with you.” Kara looked at Alex like she’d grown a second head. 

“Did.... did you really just say that?” Alex didn’t understand “I mean... did you actually just say that to me?” Alex still didn’t understand, which her facial features made clear “Ok then, when was our last movie night together?” Alex didn’t understand the point of this...until  she realized... she couldn’t remember. “When was last time we had lunch at Noonan’s?” Again... Alex couldn’t remember “Alex..... when was the last time that we had a five minute conversation to ourselves?”... Alex was completely dumbfounded. 

“I....” Alex couldn’t think of what to say. 

“That’s what I thought.” Kara said as she took a swig from the new bottle. The whole sight was making Alex feel uncomfortable. 

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Kara just chuckled darkly. 

“Oh that is rich coming from you.” Kara practically spat in her face. “You know, I wish you would’ve at least warned me that being in a relationship meant you’d flake out on me every chance you could.”

“That’s not fair Kara.” Alex said defensively.

“And leaving me in the dust is?” Kara threw back. 

“What am I supposed to do? She’s my girlfriend.” Alex may have unintentionally raised her voice. 

“And that gives you a free pass?” Kara retorted back “You get to bail out of my life just because you’re sleeping with someone?” 

“I’m happy!” Alex tried to defend.

“And you can’t be happy with me??” And in that moment, Alex saw it, Alex saw it in her eyes, she finally put her finger on it. 

“Why are you so jealous of Maggie?!” Alex had done it now, and she knew it. Kara took one more swig and looked Alex straight in the eye. 

“You want the truth?” Kara asked softly. 

“Yes!” Alex wanted nothing more than the truth. That’s when Kara slammed the bottle on the counter, grabbed Alex’s face, and practically shoved her lips on to Alex’s. It took Alex’s brain a moment to catch up with her, to realize what was happening. Kara was kissing her. Kara had her lips on Alex’s. And what confused Alex more was that she was not stopping her.... she was kissing Kara back. She felt Kara detach her mouth from her’s, and she sucked in a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. She opened her eyes to see Kara looking down at her feet, wrapping her arms around herself. Alex had never seen her look more vulnerable in all the time they had known each other. 

“I’m jealous because she took you away from me.” Kara started “I’m jealous because she gets to hold you and kiss you and call her hers, and I don’t. I’m jealous because you’ve spent nearly every waking moment with her and I get nothing, not even on my Earth Birthday.” Kara sucked in a large breath “I’m jealous because I’m in love with you and you chose her instead of me!” Alex just stared at her, wide eyed with her jaw hanging open. 

“Kara.... I.. I didn’t know.” 

“Yea well, it doesn’t matter anymore.” Alex tried to comfort her, but she pulled away. “Don’t.... just... just leave.” 

“Kara please, we need to talk about this.”

“No we don’t Alex!” Kara yelled “It’s clear you made you choice, now just go!” 

“Choice? What choice?” Kara couldn’t seriously mean what Alex was thinking, but the look on her face told Alex otherwise. “Kara, you can’t actually be asking me to choose between you and Maggie.” Kara scoffed. 

“I didn’t realize that it would be so hard for you.” Kara grabbed her bottle back and took another drink. 

“Kara.... Kara I love her.” Kara stayed silent for a moment before looking back at Alex. 

“Fine, then go to her.... and stay gone.” Alex felt her chest close in on her. 

“You don’t mean that.” Alex said frantically. But there was no doubt in Kara’s eyes. 

“I can’t do this anymore. Every time I see you with her, I wanna throw up. Every time you’ve cancelled a movie night, every time you’ve run off to see Maggie... it’s killing me Alex. And you know, I thought that I could live with it, I thought I could be ok with it because you were happy. But cutting me out of your life, leaving me alone for Earth Birthday.....” Kara was now openly weeping. 

“Kara.... Kara listen to me, you’re drunk and your upset.” Alex tried to convince her “You don’t mean any of this.” Kara shook her head. 

“No, no! You’re wrong! I mean every word of it.” Kara replied “I have done nothing, but give and give and lose and give more, well you know what? I want to finally receive something! I have earned the right to be selfish for once in my life! I-” Kara stopped abruptly, then grabbed the side of the counter. 

“Kara?” Alex asked concerned, but the only answer she got was Kara covering her mouth and running towards the bathroom. Even from the kitchen she could hear Kara heaving. 

Alex was left alone with her thoughts, all she could think of was how she missed it. How could she never tell that Kara was in love with her? And how could she not realize that she hand indeed been cutting Kara out of her life in place of Maggie? But this thought process was interrupted when Kara stopped throwing up. She waited for the inevitable, but Kara didn’t come back out. Her nerves growing, she walked up to Kara’s bathroom door. She put her ear to the door and heard what sounded like sobbing. The sight she was greeted with when she opened the door was one that would be forever burned into her memory. Kara was laying on the floor, holding on to the edge of the toilet, vomit on her chin, weeping as quietly as she could.

Alex approached her slowly and knelt down next to her. She expected a fight when she reached out for her, but encountered no such resistance. So she slowly moved Kara away from the toilet and scooted to the side of the bathtub, pulling Kara into her chest. She slowly started rocking her and rubbing her back as she started sobbing loudly. 

“Please...” Kara said into her chest “Please don’t choose her.” Kara begged “Please don’t choose her.” She repeated, sobbing much more harsher. Alex didn’t say anything, all she could do was hold the woman she has called her sister for so long as she completely emotionally shattered right in front of her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, I won’t end it here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

Kara had barely moved an inch since she woke up. She just laid in silence, staring out at the morning sun. Alex hadn’t left since Kara’s meltdown, and had hardly slept herself since she finally got Kara to bed. She maybe got three or four hours on Kara’s couch. Alex tried to get Kara to talk, but she was almost catatonic. She went ahead and called in sick for Kara, Snapper having a few choice words for her, though he did shut up after Alex gave him a few choice words of her own. After putting some waffles into the toaster, she heard a knock that she had been expecting at Kara’s door. She walked over and opened it to an awaiting Winn, holding a pill bottle containing specialized aspirin that she had developed for Kara. 

“Thanks.” Alex said as she took the bottle from his hand. 

“How is she?” He asked concerned. Alex looked back towards Kara’s room. 

“Not good.” She replied “But these should probably help.” 

“What happened?” Winn asked looking past Alex’s shoulder. 

“It’s..... personal.” Winn thankfully took the hint. 

“Just let me know if you need anything else.” With that, he walked off. As she closed the door, the waffles popped up. After applying the syrup and butter and pouring a glass of orange juice, she placed the meal and the aspirin on a tray and brought the ensemble to Kara’s room. 

“Kara?” She continued no speaking to Alex, she only stared out the window “Look, if you’re not gonna talk to me, fine, but you need to eat.” Kara finally moved her head and saw the tray that Alex was carrying. She slowly sat up straight in her bed allowing Alex to put the tray on her lap. “Here, these will help.” Alex said taking two pills out of the bottle and putting them into Kara’s hand. Without speaking, she put them in her mouth and washed it down with the orange juice. 

“Thank you.” Kara quietly uttered, the first thing she’d said all morning. While Alex was happy, she decided not to push her luck and let Kara eat by herself, but waited in the living room. After some time she checked back in and found Kara had ate the plate clean, so she took the tray from her and placed the dishes in the sink. The moment they both had been dreading had arrived as Alex walked back into Kara’s room. She hadn’t moved and was still sitting up straight in her bed. 

“Kara, we have to talk.” Kara stayed quite, but nodded her head in agreement. Alex pulled up a chair next to Kara’s bed and sat down next to her. Neither one of them really knew where to start, so Alex decided to just start with the obvious question. “How long?” Kara sighed. 

“I think I’ve always felt this way about you, ever sense we met.” Kara started “But I think I truly realized it when I lifted Fort Rozz into space, after you saved me.” Alex nodded her head in understanding. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Alex asked next. Kara looked down at her fidgeting hands. 

“We were supposed to be sisters.” Kara said quietly “And I didn’t think you’d ever like me.... like that.” Kara looked back up “And I thought you were straight too.” Kara said with a cheeky smile. 

“Well you’re not the only one.” They both shared a small chuckle at that “Looks like I’m not the only one who isn’t straight anymore.” 

“Alex, I’m from another planet.” Kara stated “We didn’t even bother with all the sexuality terminology that you have on earth.” Kara explained “I didn’t matter if you liked men or women, or both.” Kara sighed and laid back against her bed, both of them going quiet now. The silence became uncomfortable very quickly. 

“Coffee?” Alex offered, Kara nodded in agreement. Alex held her hand out and helped Kara slowly out of bed and back onto her feet. After putting on her robe, she followed Alex back out the kitchen and took a seat on the stool at her counter. After some time, Alex had two mugs ready and handed one to Kara. After taking a few sips of her own. “So....” Alex was terrified of her next question “What do we do now?” Kara put her mug on the counter. 

“Don’t suppose there’s a chance we could forget any of this ever happened?” Kara asked hopeful. Alex shook her head. 

“No, I don’t think there is.” Kara held her head down. 

“I didn’t think so.” Alex figured she might as well put everything on the table

“Did you mean what you said.... about me staying gone?” Kara looked back up. 

“Alex.... look you were right, I was drunk and angry last night.” Kara tried to cover up “I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff.” 

“But did you mean it?” 

“I...I don’t know Alex.” Kara replied “I mean, do I want you gone from life? No, but I can’t stand watching you with Maggie, that I admit.” Alex remained silent this time “I just..... I don’t know, Alex... I don’t know.” Alex could feel the tension rising, so she made an attempt to ease it by walking to Kara and wrapping her into another hug, though she may have inadvertently made things worse “Would I have even had a chance?” Kara asked into Alex’s chest. Alex pulled back. 

“What?” She asked dumbfounded. 

“If Maggie wasn’t..... would I have had a chance.... with you?” 

“Uhh....well umm...I....” If the situation hadn’t been so delicate, Alex’s deer in the headlights look might have been cute. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”  

“No! No it’s just....... I mean I..... I just don’t understand.” Kara was confused. 

“Understand what?” 

“......I don’t understand how you could be in love with me” Alex replied sheepishly “I mean I’m... and your...” Kara stood up from her seat and looked Alex firmly in the eye. 

“Alex.... how could I not have fallen in love you?” Alex didn’t move a muscle “You’re everything to me.” Alex remained still as Kara reached for her hand and held it in hers “Ever since I’ve been on Earth you’re the only one who’s ever made me feel at home. You’re the only one that has always be there for me. And you’re brave, you’re kind, you’re smart...... and to me, you are the most beautiful woman on this entire planet. Lena Luthor doesn’t even hold a candle to you.” Alex finally let a smile crack “I mean why do you think that it never worked with James or Winn? Or why I won’t give Mon-El a chance? It’s because they’re not you. I just.... I want you, I just want you.”

Kara moved her head closer, unintentionally, but stopped herself before her lips could reach Alex’s. But what scared Alex was that she still didn’t move. She didn’t push Kara back or move away from Kara’s advance. She could feel Kara’s lips hovering over her own, her eyes closed, but no contact came. After opening her eyes, she saw Kara holding herself once again the same way she had last night. 

“I think I need to be alone for a little while....” Kara said in a hushed tone. Alex  nodded her head.

“Just call me, if you need anything.” Kara nodded as well and Alex made her way to the door. 

“Alex” Kara called back as Alex grabbed the knob, Alex turned back to see her “Maggie’s really lucky to have you.” Kara disappeared into her room and Alex opened the door, but not before hearing the sobbing coming from Kara’s room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna make this two chapters instead of three, but I felt spacing it out made it flow better, but don’t worry, you’re gonna love the end, promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna give a brief shout out to my bestest friend ever, Yugi, as she helped me with this chapter.

“Wow” was all Maggie could say. 

“Yea” Alex nodded, then took a drink of Scotch. “I don’t know what to do Maggie.” They were both sitting on Alex’s couch in her apartment. Of course she couldn’t keep this from Maggie. So after telling her everything, they both sat in a silence until Maggie spoke up. 

“Would she have a had a chance?” Maggie asked Alex. Alex seemed stunned by this. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“If I didn’t come into the picture, would she have had a chance with you?” Alex was growing frustrated. 

“I don’t know. Ok?” Alex unintentionally snapped at Maggie a bit, clearly frustrated. Luckily Maggie seemed to understand as she started rubbing Alex’s back. 

“Alex, I honestly don’t think you’d be this frustrated if there wasn’t something there.” Alex looked at Maggie as if she’d grown a second head. 

“Maggie, she’s my sister.” Maggie pursed her lips. 

“Well technically, no she isn’t.” Alex just tried to down the rest of her scotch, Maggie grabbed the glass from her hand. 

“Hey!” Alex said annoyed. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about her Earth Birthday?” 

“What?” 

“You heard me. Why didn’t you tell me about Earth Birthday?” Alex looked confused. 

“Because I didn’t wanna cancel on you. I didn’t wanna make you upset.” Alex defended. 

“Bullshit” Maggie stated bluntly “I would’ve been ok with it and you know it. So try again.” Alex looked offended. 

“It is not bullshit! You got tickets to my favorite band, I wasn’t gonna turn you away like that!” Alex spat back. 

“But you were willing to turn Kara away?” Maggie snapped back. That was a low blow and she knew it, but getting Alex to open up about her feelings was like pulling teeth and she needed to fight dirty. She knew she was on to something when Alex walked away to try and refill her glass, but became frustrated at the agent’s silence “Dammit Alex, are you really that incapable of admitting you were wrong?!” Maggie snapped at her. 

“You know, I’m not very good at relationships, but isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to be helping me through my crisis instead of yelling at me?” Alex was on the verge of breaking down, but Maggie had to stand her ground, for Alex’s sake. Maggie crossed her arms and looked at Alex. 

“I’m sorry Alex, but I’m completely on Kara’s side on this.” Alex looked genuinely surprised at her “Don’t look at me like that, you were wrong to do that to her.” 

“Yes, and I admitted it.” Alex defended. 

“Because you meant it? Or to make her feel better?” Alex was reaching the end of her rope.

“Why is everyone trying to make me the bad guy here?!” Alex inadvertently shouted out. Maggie decided to back down just a little. 

“No one is making you the bad guy, Alex. Im worried about you. I just don’t understand how you could ditch the most important person in your life like that.” Maggie explained. 

“I didn’t ditch her, I just asked to celebrate on another night so I could be with you.” Maggie is really gonna have to teach her to make better excuses at some point. 

“Yea, that’s what ditching is.” Alex looked away from her and tried to go back to refilling her glass, but found she didn’t even have the strength to do that. Maggie gently grabbed hold of her hand and led her back to the couch. “Alex, look at me.” Alex wouldn’t look up from her hands, Maggie decided not push her luck “Alex, I’m going to ask you some questions. All you have to do is nod if the answer is yes, and shake if the answer is no.” Maggie explained “Ok?” Alex nodded her head in response “Did you want to cancel on Kara?” Alex was still for a moment before shaking her head “Do you feel guilty for doing it?” Alex nodded without hesitation that time “Do you know why you did it?” Alex was hesitant again before shaking her head in response “Ok, just one more question” Alex visibly tenced up in anticipation “Alex.... do you have feelings for Kara?....... The non sisterly kind?” Maggie watched Alex closely. She watched as Alex closed her eyes and let her head fall lower. She watched as she could almost visibly see the gears turning in the agent’s head. Then, she finally received the answer she was expecting as Alex slowly nodded her head. The she embraced the agent as she saw tears fall rapidly down her cheeks. Maggie tried her best to comfort Alex as she sobbed into the detective’s chest. 

“What have I done?” Alex asked “Oh God what have I done?” Maggie decided to extinguish this fire before it spread. 

“Well to me, it sounds like you’re having a Sarah Kealey episode.” Alex looked up at Maggie. 

“A what?” Maggie chuckled. 

“Sarah Kealey was my roommate in college.” Maggie began “You see, she was in love with her best friend Lindsey Barkley. They were so tight people always assumed they were a couple, and of course I could tell she had feelings for her, but she was in absolute denial of it. And she did everything she could to prove everybody wrong, she started sleeping around with a lot of guys, started avoiding Lindsey, it almost completely destroyed their friendship. So after I saw her ditch Lindsey again to go to some frat party, I followed her there, I broke some guy’s nose when he tried to play grab ass with her, and I dragged her back to the dorm and read her the riot act. I told her she needed to quit pussyfooting around and tell Lindsey the truth.” 

“Did she?” Alex asked timidly. Maggie nodded her head. 

“She did.” 

“What happened?” Maggie smiled at Alex’s worried expression. 

“Well they’re married and have two kids now, so I’m guessing it went all right.” Alex wiped her eyes and looked back up at Maggie. 

“So what does this have to do with me?” Maggie almost wanted to smack her upside the head, but elected to be calm. 

“A woman who was so much in denial that she had feelings for the most important person in her life who did everything she could to prove herself wrong, including ditching her, sleeping with other people, ditching her again, sound familiar yet?” Maggie hated having to be so blunt. But it was the only way when it came to Alex Danvers. 

“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.” Alex said sadly. Maggie didn’t understand.

“What do mean?” 

“It’s too late, Maggie.” Alex looked almost emotionally destroyed herself, the sight made Maggie feel sick with guilt. She knew this was gonna happen sooner or later. She was in denial of it herself. Her time with Alex had been some of the most incredible months of her life, but all good things must come to an end. 

“It doesn’t have to be.” Maggie said quietly. Alex shot her head up at Maggie’s response. 

“What?” Maggie took Alex’s hand in her own and interlaced their fingers. 

“You know, when I first met you guys, I actually thought you were a couple.” Maggie started explaining “Even when I found out that you weren’t, I still felt like it was inevitable..... it’s actually one of the main reasons I rejected you the first time.” Alex was stunned by this. 

“Then why did you...” she didn’t need to finish the question, Maggie knew exactly what she was about to ask. 

“After you yelled at me in the parking garage, I started thinking that maybe I read the whole situation wrong.... then I started spending more time with you, then I got shot, I just decided to take a chance.” Maggie wiped a betraying tear going down her cheek “But I guess I was right after all.” There was no anger, regret, or hate in her words, though that didn’t stop Alex from panicking. 

“Maggie.... please don’t.” She appeared to be hyperventilating, so Maggie cupped her face and looked her in the eye. 

“Alex, listen to me. These past few months have been amazing. And I will always be grateful for the time you’ve given me....” Maggie started stroking her hair affectionately “But this was never going to be forever..... I think we both knew that.” She could see Alex rebuilding her walls quickly. 

“So what was all this then?” Alex asked “You were just my sexual awakening?” Maggie shrugged her shoulders. 

“Well somebody had to do it.” Even Alex couldn’t be totally upset at her cocky grin as they shared a quiet giggle “I think that, some people are only supposed come into your life for a season while others are there for life.” Maggie began to explain “And between me and Kara.... I think it’s pretty obvious which is which.” Alex contemplated her words, but then looked back at her.

“Maggie.... did you really just quote Tyler Perry?” They both started laughing with a mixture of happy and sad tears streaming down their faces. But it was time to become serious again when Alex looked at Maggie “Maggie, you’re more than just a season to me.” Maggie nodded her head. 

“And you’re definitely more than that to me too.” Alex still was confused. 

“Then why are you trying to end things so easily?” Alex was growing more upset by the second “I just..... I don’t understand anything anymore.” Alex got up and walked back over to the counter, but Maggie followed suit and turned her around. 

“Hey, this is not easy for me.” It was Maggie’s turn to be annoyed “Don’t you dare think this this easy for me! This is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life.” Maggie was very visibly upset at this point “But I have to do it.” 

“Why?” Alex sadly begged. 

“Jesus Christ Alex, have you not been listening to anything I’ve been saying?” It was time to lay down the law “You’re in love with Kara. You’ve always been in love with Kara. That’s why you ditched her, that’s why you’ve been spending so much time with me and avoiding her every chance you could. Because you being in love with her scares you more than anything. I don’t know if it’s because she was supposed to be your sister, or because of the work you both do. But I do know one thing....” Maggie took a breath from her rant “If we stay together, you are going to regret it for the rest of your life.” Alex was about to speak, but Maggie cut her off “Maybe not today, maybe not even tomorrow, but one day down the line, you’re gonna realize that you’re spending your life with the wrong woman.” Despite her efforts, she could still see the walls that Alex was building. 

“You don’t know that. You don’t know any of that.” What did she do to deserve the stubbornness of Alex Danvers? To go from admitting she had feelings for the girl to right back into her cespool of denial. She’d be impressed if she wasn’t so annoyed. 

“You’re really gonna make me do this.” Maggie said mostly to herself. She didn’t feel like going on another run around with Alex. “Come with me.” She said taking Alex’s hand in her own, leading her back to the couch. “We’re gonna do something that my aunt once taught me.” Alex seemed confused “Close your eyes.” 

“Maggie” Alex said in protest.

“Alex, do it.” Maggie was tired of messing around and the sterness of her voice showed it. So Alex decided to obey and closed her eyes. “Now I want you to concentrate.... and I want you to imagine a life without me in it.” Alex’s eyes snapped back open.

“Ok what is this?” Alex asked sternly. Maggie decided to level with her.

“It’s an exercise my aunt used on me and my cousins. If we were ever in a situation where we would need to make hard choices, we’d close our eyes and think long and hard about which choice would be better, and which would be worse.” Maggie explained. “It’s simple, but it works.” Alex still seemed standoffish, but she decided to roll with it.

“Ok, I’ll do it.” Alex closed her eyes again and began imagining her life without Maggie Sawyer. It hurt. It didn’t just hurt, it was one of the most painful feelings she had ever felt. She had been so happy thanks to the detective. The past few months had been some of the happiest she had been in a very long time, and that is definitely saying something.

“Have you got it?” Maggie asked. 

“Yes” Alex replied quietly. 

“Ok.... now I want you to picture your life without Kara in it.” Maggie was scared to do this, but drastic times called for drastic measures, and Alex was no exception. So Alex obeyed and began picturing a life without Kara in it.

She started thinking back to the day Kara arrived all the way to the present. She thought about all the nights they had spent together, talking, watching movies, eating pizza and pot stickers, the non stop phone calls and emails when Alex was at Stanford, all the missions they had gone on together, Alex let it all flood in at once. Then she began imagining a life without any of it. What it would be like to lose all of that, to lose Kara forever.

She felt.... nothing. She felt like absolutely nothing. Not just nothing, she felt hollowed out. Like one second, she could feel her heart beat, then it’s as if she had no heart to begin with. She couldn’t even feel pain, just numbness. But Alex’s thought process didn’t stop there. She thought about the day she saved Kara after she lifted Fort Rozz into space. Kara said that that was the day she had truly realized her feelings for Alex. Alex stopped and finally let herself realize her own truth of that day. How when Kara told her to find love, she wanted to tell her that she already found it. How when Kara woke up, she wanted nothing more than to kiss her. How when she held Maxwell Lord’s hand, she imagined it was Kara’s, she imagined Kara looking at her, smiling at her, it all convulsed on her at once. All the denial, all the self deprecating, all the truths and secrets she had hidden from herself....

Yes, it was all true. Alex Danvers was in love with Kara Zor-El. Kara Zor-El was her world. She felt her heart stop beating because Kara Zor-El was her heart. She felt nothing because without Kara, her life would be nothing. And Maggie was right, that thought scared her more than anything in the entire universe. But then.... for a brief moment, she let herself think about a life _with_ Kara.

She thought about what it would be like to wake up next to her every morning, to have breakfast together, to kiss her goodbye as they’d leave for work, to come home to her every night, to make love to her...... to marry her, to have children with her, to grow old with her. Then, in that moment, Alex Danvers realized the ultimate truth. Pain is a horrible thing, and leaving Maggie would cause so much of it.... however... pain can heal over time. But if there’s nothingness instead of pain.... then it would be impossible to heal. That is what would happen if Kara wasn’t in her life. And that was so much worse than any pain you could imagine. That’s why when Alex let herself come out of her mental realization, she found herself lying down on Maggie’s legs sobbing harder than she had ever sobbed in her life, and she wishes that was an exaggeration.... Alex had made her decision. 

“I’m sorry!” Alex wailed out “I’m so sorry!” Maggie was soothing her as much as she could. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok” Maggie began assuring her. Seeing Alex like this one of the most heartbreaking sights she had ever experienced in her life. All she could do was try and comfort the agent as much as she could. As Alex’s weeping began to soften, Maggie cupped her face and slowly raised it towards her own. “Alex, it’s going to be ok. I promise.” 

“I.... didn’t mean to hurt to you...” she choked out “I didn’t mean to.” Maggie embraced her. 

“I know you didn’t. It’s ok.” She said softly. After some time had passed, Alex had finally stopped crying. They both sat in an almost awkward silence until Alex was able to form words again. 

“What happens now?” It was strange for Maggie, seeing the bad ass secret agent sitting next to her so scared and vulnerable. So she decided to give her some encouragement. 

“You are gonna go find that sweet little Kryptonian, and you’re gonna tell her that you love her.” She said while patting Alex’s shoulder in support. Maggie knew it was time for her to leave now as she got up from her chair and put on her jacket. Alex of course followed suit.

“But what about you?” It was also strange seeing someone care for her well being as Alex did. Most of her other breakups ended with the other party leaving without giving Maggie a second thought. 

“I won’t lie, this is really hard.” Maggie replied “And it hurts like hell.” Alex hung her head, but Maggie took Alex’s hand in her own. “I do want you Alex, but Kara..... she _needs_ you... and I think you need her too.” Maggie explained “And I’m not gonna be the one to come between you two.” Alex still looked down, but perked back up when Maggie engulfed her in the biggest hug someone of her height could give. “Hey, don't even worry about me. Two years from now, you’re not even gonna remember my last name.” Alex let out an unintentional snort, much to Maggie’s amusement, and stood back and looked at her now ex-girlfriend. 

“I could never forget you.” Alex replied. 

“I know... I just wanted to squeeze in one more Tyler Perry reference.” While Alex was finally smiling, she still seemed reserved. “Hey, listen to me” Maggie put her hand on Alex’s shoulder “Everything will be ok.” Maggie assured her. “And I swear, I will always be here for you Danvers. If you ever need me, just call and I will come running.” Alex was definitely relived at hearing that. 

“Promise?” Maggie pulled Alex down and placed a loving kiss on her forehead, a definite promise. After sharing a smile Maggie turned and walked towards the door. But stopped and turned back to Alex before she reached the knob. 

“Just promise me one thing.” Maggie said, gaining Alex’s full attention. “Promise me that you will make that girl as happy as humanly possible. I already know she’ll make you happy. And you both deserve it... That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. Just promise me that. Ok?” Maggie had involuntary tears in her eyes as well. 

“I promise.” Alex swore, and that was all Maggie needed. Maggie turned the knob and opened the door, but not before turning to Alex one last time. 

“See ya round Danvers.” Alex nodded her head. 

“You too Maggs.” Maggie also nodded her head, then turned and walked out of Alex’s apartment. 

—————————————————————

Kara was once again alone in her apartment, watching TCM, but she decided to leave out the alien alcohol. She decided to keep to herself for the rest of the day, except for a burning building near her neighborhood, not texting or calling anyone, especially not Alex. 

She felt a pang in her chest every time her thoughts wandered towards her foster sister. She had no idea how she could even face Alex again after everything that has happened. The thought made her think twice about not going for the liquor, but her thought process was interrupted by a familiar knock at her door. She turned and X-rayed it, finding her suspicion to be factual. On the other side of the door stood Alex, but there was something off about her. She seemed more tense than usual. She seemed.... nervous. It couldn’t be anything life threatening, other wise she’d have busted the door down already. She figured she couldn’t ignore her forever, so she got up from her couch and walked over to the door. She opened it, Alex looked more nervous than before. 

“What do you want Alex?” It came off a bit more rude than she had intended, but after the incident the previous night, she wasn’t much in the mood for pleasantries. But she wouldn’t be thinking that if she could see inside of Alex’s mind.

Alex had intended to start slow, talk about things first, open up to each other the right way. But the moment Kara opened her door, her throat completely closed up. She went completely and utterly brain dead seeing the Kryptonian goddess standing before her. Her golden curls tied up in a ponytail, her perfect skin which glowed with the beauty of the sun itself, her adorable night time ensemble consisting of one of her many oversized sweat-shirts and pajama pants only made it that much more perfect. She looked so.... Kara. And it only made Alex’s desire skyrocket out of the solar system. And if she could not speak, then perhaps actions could speak louder. 

It was almost as if she was possessed as she backed Kara into her apartment and closed the door behind them. And with no regrets, no fears, no denial, she grabbed hold of Kara’s face and kissed her with every ouce of energy she could muster. Alex became concerned when Kara stilled completely, pleading to God that she hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of her life. But what was met with an answer when she could feel Kara’s hands move up Alex’s body and pulled her in close as Kara started kissing back. She thought nothing would ever be able to top her first kiss with Maggie, she was dead wrong. After Rao knows how long, breathing became an issue for Alex as she pulled her mouth away from Kara’s. 

“You....” Alex panted out “I choose you.” She knew what the magnitude of those words meant. And she meant them with every fiber of her being. She looked Kara in the eye as she said the words to her, wanting the Kryptonian to know that she was telling the truth. 

Kara was in absolute shock, she couldn’t believe this was happening. For as long as she waited for this moment, she never believed it would actually come. She couldn’t stop the tears that were falling down her cheek, so she chose to ignore them instead. Now it was Kara’s turn to be assertive. 

She roughly shoved Alex into the door behind her and practically latched their mouths together, her tongue begging for entrance, which Alex granted excitedly. Neither one of them were quite sure who made the first move, but the next thing Alex knew, her shirt had been removed and Kara’s mouth now latched onto her neck. Two can play at this game. 

Alex then picked up Kara and almost threw her down onto her kitchen counter, with a couple of glasses and a plate paying the price. Alex found herself leaving trails of kisses up Kara’s abdomen and farther up towards her neck as she lifted Kara’s shirt up slowly, ridding her if it as well.

Kara sat back up and pulled Alex in closely. They both stood there bra clad as Kara searched Alex’s face for any form of doubt. She found not a single ounce of it. All the doubt and fear that had haunted her had been left at the door. They didn’t even need to speak as Kara wrapped her legs around Alex’s waist, Alex carrying her to the bedroom. It was definitely going to be a long night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on, did you really think I’d end on a sad note?


End file.
